Endometriosis Awareness Month

Dull but sharp pain

What I can only describe as a butter knife stabbing me

No medication will take this discomfort away from me

I try and keep my head full of thoughts

And my ears full of noise

So I don't sit in the silence with this pain

I don't want to think about how messed up my insides could be

I don't want to think about all the burn marks I have caused by my hot water bottle

I don't want to think about how I've been waiting to hear back from the hospital

I don't want to think about all the days and nights I've spent silently crying to myself

Unable to push any noise from my throat

So I silently wail and cradle myself until it's over

I don't want to think about everything endometriosis has taken from me

I can't think about all the medical backlogs without my chest hurting

I can't think about all the times I felt I would be better dead than to live with this condition

I can't think about all the doctors that didn't listen without feeling angry

I can't think about the way some of my family dismissed my symptoms and told me to get a grip

All the times I couldn't explain what was happening to me

It hurts me deep down to see this is words in front of my face

The realization of what I and many others have been through

A 7 to 10 year wait! What in the name is that all about?

Has the world not learned to listen to women when they say they're suffering

Why is this something we just have to "learn to deal with"

I tried to "learn to deal with it" and here we are 9 years later

Finding out it wasn't normal, I wasn't being dramatic

I was diagnosed with severe endometriosis

All these years later, I haven't even started my journey to getting "better"

Whatever "better" means anymore

Maybe being able to function normally without my body ripping itself apart

For the rest of time I will advocate for my endo sisters

This shouldn't be this way, I feel I say that now more than ever

I want to speak on this topic for all long as I have my voice

Everyone deserves to be heard and listened too.