Eruption

My minds never at rest,
The ticking of the clock echoes as I lay motionless,
Forever fighting with myself to stop,
Even for a second,
God how I wish it would stop,
The thing with my mind is that it likes to pick at every detail,
Every little thing I've worried about,
Constantly on replay,
Like listening to the same radio station all day,
I always know what comes next,
My heart rate increases,
My path of thought rumbles to life Like a dormant volcano,
Always active,
But never erupting,
Sometimes I long for it to all come out,
To not be held by just me,
For someone to know what it's like to be at war with your own thoughts,
But the bullets never run out,
How can it stop when it's me that's doing this,
My breathing picks up,
I can feel the urge to scream rushing through my body,
Unsure as to what move to make,
Or what to say,
People often ask me if I'm okay,
But how do you explain that you hate yourself for being this way?
One day I will find the off switch,
One day, 
I will explode