“Even after you have gone”

I took a moment alone,

to talk to my sister,

Toni today.

she passed, away from a heart failure,

which is what the medical report,

would say.

When I had found you, from the first,

i brought you snacks,( I had made) and a coke,

for your thirst but I couldn't get you to respond.

You were laying on your back, sub-comb to a heart-ache,

I gave so many deep breaths and compression's of the chest,

but death would come to break our sacred bond.

As I held you so close,

I knew the sister, (whom I loved most),

had died and there was nothing more,

that I, ( possibly), could have done.

as a collection of gray clouds, had been given way,

I found myself, crying to God,”please stay,” hoping, praying

that his grace and mercy, would come in the form,,

of a smiled upon sun.

Yet it's moments like this,

when God opens new doors

and warm memories through it, shall flow,

when quite simply, the opened ones,

which we've been weaving through, (as spiders),

refuses our will and lets go.

“Today was truly a good day,” you stated,”

last muttered by you and done but your heart,

was in its final race, that sadly it couldn't run.

I'll cherish fond moments and sweet memories,

of a sisterly bond, that passionately, once we had.

(I miss you), quite naturally,

is what a mourned sister,

(being of first), would bestow,

though you being you,

it went without having to be said.

I was forced to plan a simple burial

for the money I had, was little to none,

suddenly I remembered what day it was

and didn't feel, so under the gun.

Thank God for your (S.S.I.), it was your benefits time,

with fingers crossed and to God, had I pleaded,

would be in the bank to accompany, my last hundreds, of (only three),

exactly the amount, that was so frantically needed.

After life, just as it was in it,

they are like greedy little Indian givers,

without merit rhyme and reason,

still continuing to take back dues,

even after, you have dearly departed

and still had it not to give,

they still take without compassion, cold heartedly,

but its funds, that were owed, by them to you.

Jim

Dedicated to Tina Crosser with all respects to her dearly departed sister Antonia (Toni) Renee Crosser..

P.S.

This situation has arose with a friend of mine who has a family of her own and is herself on (S.S.I.) And she now must find away to bury her sister, whom is laying on a cold steel slab in the hospital morgue, waiting to be laid to rest..If I were president, (my friend Sparrow song), I would also include,(without a second thought), throwing I.R.S. Under the bus and Reform this thing that they want to call (Social security), ( known by me, only as Social Insecurity)..You can't treat people this way and expect it to be accepted as the norm, without any consequences...Although in your government Sparrowsong, I am sure this form of social control and strong hold, would not have existed......I would vote for any party,(Democratic, Interdependent or Republican), if I knew they would be able to rectify the unnecessary pressures and forceful demands, (placed us on), alive or dead..Restrictions placed against us by the authoritative practices and/or traits, (governed, exercised and without human decency enforced), through the laws placed upon us by the law makers of this country. Laws cast, (with retribution), against the very people, it claims it wants to protect, (in what is said to be considered the land of the free), instead leading us into a collective smelting pot, of poverty and despair. At the same time, caring less, (after we have no more to give), what really happens, to “We The People.” You took and took from this lady, as you done to many others, that has departed and you continue taking even after they had nothing left to give, not even the funds for a funeral, let alone afford, any form of insurance...Everyone on S.S.I. and have had funds taken from their checks, (in the form of Federal/State taxes), while they were alive, should (automatically) be able to have their funeral expenses paid for in full.. Yet we asked about the funds taken from this account on the 1st of September and (S.S.I.) could only respond with, “she hadn't been alive for the complete month to warrant the funds remaining in the account for her burial” and that, “she expired on the 31st of August, at 8:00 pm and her funds went to this bank at midnight of that same day but hours later they were taken and that they, (S.S.I.), would only pay (250.00) of her funeral and that it would only be, if she had a living spouse or a child of hers, under the age of (18) years, in which she no longer had either of the two. When you took her funds from her checks for taxes, (when she was alive, working harder than ever to have to earn), it didn't matter any age but when it comes to paying, (for those you took from), when they now could not, you, (this country), didn't even have the dam decency, to respectfully give back (all), that they so greedily and without malice had taken....This government, (in all aspects of its being), discusses the hell out of me..... So her sister, is now forced, to face the burden of coming up with funds to lay to rest her only sister..Yet (S.S.I) states that these funds are earned after from the months end, how close to the end of the month justifies them taking the entire benefit, knowing and leaving her none for her burial..A bunch of cold hearted penny pinching, dictorial government, who advocate change only if it directly affects them but those that have not, doesn't matter at all. I will do what I can to assist in her burial but have just begun to scratch the surface, of my discontent and degradation, with this stingy, good for nothing system, that pays an individual so little, just enough to keep them in poverty, after they have retired but passed on, after live, just as they had done in it, even when they had taken so much of, what they truly never had to give...

R.I.P.  Antonia Renee Crosser, It haunts me so dear, to write these three words (rest in peace),

when we were young and as we thought, (free, to be whom we wanted and would live for

ever but now I see, we were never in life to be free, just as shes not now in death, laying on

a cold steel slab even (17) days, after she has been now gone, laying in this place so cold 

and all alone..Toni I was there, when she found you and tried to revive you and it tore me

up, to see how it has now left her ..Tina I am so so sorry for your loss.........................Jim