Failure and Remorse (Beyond the Lamplight)

Failure and remorse are my constant companions
They seem to be things I cannot lose
Ruminating on various past failings:
Unable to keep on top of things or to give up booze.
 
Failure to hit targets at work
Or to find a purpose in life:
I lay awake at night
With no kids and no wife.
 
Feeling that the boss is unimpressed
by my performance at work
As I carry on- in my head-
Such doubts do lurk
 
Finding out third hand
That I annoy some people or someone
In what I do or what I say:
Remorse my companion.
 
Having my faults pointed out to me
By people who look at me objectively.
I suspect that what one person says
Is what people think collectively.
 
Reflecting on how I could have acted differently:
Is it a personal idiosyncrasy?
Laying awake as time passes
Church bells ring periodically.
 
So failure and remorse are always there
It’s something I have learned to bear
And as I ponder about the trouble and the strife
Guilt and remorse pervade my life.

(The title of this poem is taken from lines written in "Vers de Societe" by Philip Larkin).