Finally Gone

I’m a damed sick man, a lunatic on the verge of existential corruption, I’m drinking and drinking, the only way to pull through, the days go by in a blur, my only memories are tender exchanges on nights only illuminated by a herd of stars.
I’m closing in on the edge, darkness torn by paranoia, I can almost see it clearly, the descent into insanity, the colors bouncing off my knuckles, paintings finished with blood, letters written into flesh.
I see through the melting curtain, this other reality, this other world, I know of your fingers reaching for mine, I know of your abyss which visits me in dreams, I know what I claim I don’t, my mind is a prison.

The wolves hunt the witches, magic falling into the fangs, the purple heart of the cosmos is torn, it’s only another night driving around, losing myself in the eyes of strangers, losing myself in pale kisses under the moon.
The howls of the wolves are silenced by the ghosts of winter, the laughter of the wind is turned into black ice, there’s empty cars on the side of the road suffocated by frost, it’s a thin blanket which keeps me warm and these days seem to be praising the wicked phantoms which linger in my soul, there was never a choice!

God bless the cherry fields which colored my youth, the juices dripping down my lip, god bless my mother who wiped my cut and led me away from the thorn bushes, I am only now finding that which was always missing, I am only now becoming human. The tears drip down my face and my heart warms like the sun, please let me know, what it means to exist and keep moving through lakes covered in thin ice, to love when it seems no love grows from your soul, to walk when you want to run, please let me know what it means to be a person amidst the modern world.