A Virtual Suicide

1

Grandiose waste rotting in front of the world,
the human mind is surpassed with ease,
I try to walk by and forget
I try to close my eyes
but it’s not working,
the system is down
and I can’t bring it back to life.
On the streets the lights are blown out,
in the buildings the blood drips through,
it’s all gone to shit!
The last sounds of hope are filtered by the walls, the first glances of the snake are broadcasted to the world as the truth.
All art is burned in hopes of preserving the fried heart and all literature is erased in hopes of keeping down the nocturnal soul.
It’s an empty shell that exists now, no one really does much but exist within the meta world.

2

I haven’t left this virtual reality for days, my pants are stained with dried semen from all the sex, my mind is worn out from all the cross dimensional massacres. I take off the headset and hop into the shower, even the sounds of the shower head seems dull to me now, my dirty apartment smells of rotting garbage and I almost don’t mind, this version of me is not the reality that I chose.
I hop out of the shower and stroll down the hallway to my room, there are no posters up, 
no furniture, no knickknacks, there’s nothing but a mattress that lies on the floor, I throw on some sweats and I turn on the system, I cannot stay in this reality for too long, they say this is the one true reality but I’m not so sure of that anymore, I exist elsewhere, I topple the earth.

3

Colors blast on, the naked woman run towards me with their giant tits jumping up and down, the sky today is purple and what a beauty it is, the ground is made of quicksand and I sink into it, then I appear in the next layer.
Gold is torn from the roots of mars, the satellites are breaking down, they fall furiously towards the earth and I laugh knowing my body lies down there oblivious to the apocalypse which has already happened, the stars open their mouth and swallow me whole, then I appear in the next layer.
A soft acoustic guitar plays in an empty bar, it’s only me there, the man is dressed in all black and it appears that he is crying, the music reflects his turmoil, his tears fall unto the wooden stage, yet, within myself, I feel nothing, he continues strumming and suddenly a woman in a black dress bursts through the back door, her eyes are bloodshot, her skin is pale and haunting, she begins dancing and then everything fades to black.

4

My system is down!
Those goddamn crooks can’t get anything right, I need it now, it’s not just a game (no matter how many times they say it is) it’s life, my whole world exist only on this system and now it’s down.

5

I run out of my apartment complex and bolt towards the store.
I walk in and everyone seems strange, they walk so slowly and the woman hardly excite me, a bunch of fat slobs buying food or more points for the system.
I finally grab one and head to the front,
a slight silence rings in my ear as the cashier says something, it sounds so muffled, almost robotic “Your card has been declined.” He says.
I don’t have any money in real life anymore!
Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish what’s real and what’s not.
Everything moves in slow motion at this point, I need that system, I don’t know how to live without it.
I look at the cashier then grab the system and run out the door, I run and run until I can no longer possibly move, when I stop I look up and see a reflection of myself, obese, ugly, how could this have happened?
I turn the corner and two security guards grab me.
“You thought you could get away?!”
“Please you gotta believe me, I NEED that system to live, I mean look at me, I’m a fat pig, I have no chance in this life.” I cry out.
They laugh and push me onto the ground then point a gun at my head.
“If you’re so miserable then why don’t I just end your life right now.” One of them says.
I freeze, death, could it be my escape, my chance at something beyond the system?
I open my mouth and ask him to pull the trigger but he just kicks me onto the floor then the cops arrive and they throw me into the police car.

6

I sit in my dirty prison cell, two men sit besides me, earlier they both beat me till I couldn’t move and now they wait until I can once again move to pounce on me like the animals that they are.
I close my eyes but I am not transported anywhere, all I see is darkness, eternal darkness, I open my eyes and look straight through the bars, then, a glitch, numbers rain from the roof and then disappear.
Am I still in the game?
I make a move and the other prisoners both turn to me, they laugh as they imagine what they’ll do, I am a coward and will let them do as they please, my body aches for the system, my mind rejects this reality.
This prison cell will be dreamed of with flowers growing from the walls and waterfalls blocking the doorways, this life will be thrown away in an aim at transcendence and revival, I’m not really here anymore, I guess I never really was.