Fine dining experience

Take the bog from the man
or the man from the bog
twas far I was reared 
from this mist and fog,
an enchanted evening
I'll never forget
for the hidden meaning
I didn't get.
A meal that starts
with "amous bouche" 
to "amuse" one's palate
with a velvet touch,
or a fine wine
called "pouilly fuisse"
a den of inebriation 
dare I say.
A kind of service
called a la carte 
the horse has bolted 
before I start,
a "creme frachie" 
to add some flavour
but where is the ketchup?
where is my saviour?.
I plough through the starter
yet to my dismay
comes a concoction 
they call a sorbet,
for unwanted dessert
they hear my ire 
as the gods of embarrassment
quietly conspire.
A creature of comfort
that's all I am
as I crave for the delight
of turkey and ham,
forgive my demeanour 
my moaning and whining
for far do I come
from the thrill of fine dining.