First Hand From a Second Opinion

It is the exhaustion

The exhaustion you feel after a full nights sleep

and the nights when your still lying awake to weep

Because your brain is on but your soul feel weak

And no amount of rest will replenish your energies

It is the emptiness

The slow ache of nothingness

When you feel there is no reason for your existence

The overwhelming, encompassing emotion of no emotions

The inhale of stale air

And the exhale of insignificance

The oblivion you share a chest with

and the calm beckon of deaths kiss.

It is the shame

From where this emptiness came

cringing at memories wishing to forget

looking back at your mistakes with such regret

Wanting to start over, fix it, will them to be gone

it is wishing to give up because it cannot be undone

It is being misunderstood

It is not their fault, for if they could they would

It is doing things that will not help but to comfort someone worried

It is explaining to a stranger how it feels till your eyes get blurry

It is not always needing to talk it out

Or cry it out

Or scream it out

Sometimes we just need to see through our doubt

And know we are loved to hold out

It is the loneliness

Of being trapped on an island of selflessness

The fear of having nobody else

Who will ever understand how it feels to just be you for a day

The strength to survive in your own way

Because you feel like there is nobody who ever knows what to say

To a person who lives in constant decay

But I have a message for those who do know

YOU ARE NOT ALONE

You are worthy and in fact loved

Even if you think you are undeserving there is someone out there

Someone who will someday love you how to deserve

Someone who will make you feel how you should have felt your whole life

And I am sorry 

So sorry you had to suffer for so damn long

But my dear the best friend you will ever have is near

Someone who will love and understand your every single fear

And even if you think it is cliche you wait

Because one day you will know

How much you matter and what it feels to not only survive but to actually feel alive

So hold on because whether you learn on your own or you get taught by someone else

Because one day you will realize how to really love yourself.