Again... And Again
There is a time
When all thatĀ pains
Fades
When all that maims
diminishes
But it is all a charade.
Because it will hit meĀ - Again
And I realize
That your gone -Ā Again
And tears prick my eyes
My chest constricts
and my throat closes
Your prison has so many convicts
Is that what you wanted? Is this what you chose?
The weight of your non existence
hits me - Again
You'll never graduate
You'll never marry
You'll never have children
Oh this burden we carry
Of you, and your mistake
That brands usĀ so often
and causes our chests to ache
And our hearts to soften
I'll never grab your hand
I'll never hear your voice
This IĀ cannot withstand
How could you make this cruel choice?
Is this what you wanted?
For us to have the permanence of grief?
and everyday feel haunted?
After all, suicide is just a diffusion of your own pain.
So why do this? WhatĀ was your aim?
RIP Austin Alexander Cairns 1998-2013
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Comments
Seriously Sad Megan!!......you know there are two other poets on here ......right now.....dealing with this EXACT same experience.....and....I know this seems a bit callous.....but.......perhaps you could find some sharing for your grief and lonelinessĀ in not "KNOWING".....by reading them....or....even speaking with them.......I too have been through this grief......but it was long ago.......if you'd like to relate?....... their are many here that would LOVE to help you.........COSMO is a community of artists.........and artists.....as you well know........are more capable of dealing with emotion than most.........AWESOME write my friend.........we're here.....if........you need us..........smiles......TĀ xx