Forgive and Let it go

Forever is a concept that only exists in my dreams
Nothing lasts forever because nothing is at it seems.
I smile for the public as I cry on the inside
Because admitting you broke me will only hurt my pride.
At first it was good, you even treated me like a queen
When in all reality you're just downright mean.
I sacrificed it all so you could have it your way
Doing any and everything you would say.
I'm only human so of course I made mistakes
Pleading you not to leave saying "I'll do whatever it takes."
That's when you started talking to me the way you did
Degrading me and treating me like I was just a kid.
I just took it all in and stayed by your side
Ignoring you mostly and pushing my feelings aside.
I guess you could tell I learned how to block the hurt
Because I seen the devil in your eyes as you stomped me in the dirt.
For some reason i put up with it and didn't leave
I guess at the time I was still young, dumb and naive.
Maybe for some reason I really did love you
I wanted it to last no matter what I had to go through.
After nine years, the pain got to be too much
I got up the courage to leave but I still craved your touch.
Somewhere deep inside I still love you with all of my heart
Even though we'll spend the rest of our lives apart.
I try my hardest to hate you but  have nothing but love
For at one time, I believed you to be my miracle sent from above.
So even after all the fighting, abuse and heart ache
I wish you nothing but happiness on whatever path you may take.