Freedom Isn’t Free

The majority of my life 
I was dependent on things 
wether it was adults from youth 
or the insecurities they nurtured 
Both led to dependency on 
many different types of abuse 
All the bad examples, advice 
and role models led straight to 
the bad vices such as alcohol and drug abuse in my attempts to numb the pain, in an attempt to stop the strain, in an attempt to clear my brain but all I accomplished was more falseness to further nurture more pain within myself and pain to be brought onto others 
Many loved ones lost the cost of not handling my  business and delaying the inevitable because eventually there’s no running from the reality of what’s going on, no escape from the hate that resides in my mind, no liquid, no pill, no plant, no substance that could prevent me from knowing the TRUTH 
A lesson I learned very late but one must trust the teacher brave enough to venture to the dark side long enough to share the light, She did that for me and I took it for granted, her skies became of the darkest amidst her life while trying to help me help myself survive, She wasn’t just a loved one but most definitely the “Love Of My Life” Her presence created change that never ever would’ve been resurrected 
A lifeless lifetime victim was the path that I was traveling 
Her love stopped my destiny 
DEAD IN IT’S TRACKS 
Dead our relationship became 
That was the final blow 
that it took, for me to look 
in the mirror and realize it was 
ME and not HER 
We’re separated now 
PHYSICALLY 
But never were we 
MENTALLY 
Ups and downs 
Higher than NASA has been 
and lower than the equator 
We’ve been through them all 
Seconds seemed like years 
since we have been apart 
Years seemed like milliseconds 
when she was in my arms
I know how to change that now 
We desire to be together now 
With many undetermined pieces to an eternal puzzle of happiness, we just have a couple more variables to figure out ( light at the end of the tunnel) It wasn’t until I became independent that I could cherish what it means to be dependent 
Independency should never not be an option and dependency should never be a necessity 
When the insecurities were addressed, dissected, studied 
and let go of.... FADED 
Is when it became apparent the lessons she created that I so hated then but now know the love that would be granted from the POWER OF GROWTH 
The result : a better man 
the result : a better father 
the result: a better son 
the result: a rekindled love 
the result: the return of my love 
INDEPENDENCE isn’t just about being free from others hands but also being free from yourself as well
We can be our own worse enemy, we can be our own culprit and we can make ourselves victims 
OR
We can be our own best friend, we can be honest with ourselves and we can create CHANGE