Goofy Stuff

In her lifetime, a cow produces
Two hundred thousand glasses of milk
Wow, they must be total wrecks
After a hundred they must start to wilt

Your average domestic cat bombs along
At about thirty-one miles an hour
Especially if old family dog, Rover
Is attempting her hide to devour

Did you know that old George Bush Sr.
Was once a cheerleader in college
I'll bet your life is finally complete
Since I passed on that bit of knowledge

People spend over three and a half years
Whiling away life on the can
Headstones should be shaped like toilet bowls
And also be equipped with a fan

There's a town in PA called Intercourse
I wonder what prompted the townsfolk
To call their town such a provocative name
Guess it was their idea of a joke

Studies show most Australian women
Will have sex on the very first date
Booking my ticket tomorrow morning
Heard their climate also is great

Seems the next place after the bedroom
Most people have sex in the car
I'm writing this poem from the back seat
Of my gorgeous Nissan GT-R

A thousand birdies die each year
From smashing headlong into windows
Sure not the smartest of God's little creatures
Just one step up from the minnow

Okay, just a bit more of this crazy talk
Then I really must take my leave
You lose weight by just smelling bananas
I find that quite hard to believe!