Grief

Grief

Grief can hit us in different ways, sometimes it stays and sometimes it fades

Two years this feeling has stuck, feeling down and negative feelings, thoughts, just my luck.

I used to feel alive! Excited and look forward, but now, agitated, no motivation just no emotion but anger and morbid.

I do try to be happy I really do, what's the point on being sad she wouldn't want me to.

Grandma I miss you, wish you were here, the apple of my eye,  always Wiping my tears. 

How do I get those happy emotions back? I look back on the past two years and I see nothing but black.

Before you were gone, I was carefree and felt safe, now I worry and fret all the time in this place.

Those feelings I had when you were alive, I can't explain, took for granted, they have taken a dive.

What I wouldn't give to feel bloody normal again, feel enthusiastic and vibrant and enjoy a night out or ten! 

I hope it comes back, the warmth and the fulfill ness, the simple pleasure from buying a new top or a dress.

The excitement you get when your dressed for a night out, with the girls on the town, no stress or doubt.

I'm out sometimes and can't wait to get home, to my partner he's always their, my comfort, my safe zone.

At the moment I'm just existing not living but It will return one day, that happiness, I'll make it, that's believing in myself not child's play.