Grief is a Monster

There are self help books on grief
Counseling if you prefer the personal touch
Support groups for less isolation

Time,  that is  to heal all wounds

But,
Grief is a unique and enormous foe
It follows a horrific loss, 
Rational mind separates from emotion
A sense of unreality numbs for a bit
But if my truth were told
Grief is a fucking monster
It stalks every waking moment
It crushes my relationship
It has isolated my spirit and soul
Perched on a brink of utter rage at God
That filters into a loss of respect of self
Lipstick and curling irons just have no value
They sit unused like relics from another age
I stare past them daily
Days pass without value
Holidays only feed the monster
I have tried to out run him
I thought In could slay it
Carve out the beating heart
Hold it out for effect
But, no, I am not fast enough
Not mean enough, not tough enough
Not forgiving enough
To do what I surely must do to win
Learn to love myself again
Learn to love God again
Angels are waiting