Having one of those days ?

I got out my bed to go to the loo
Ouch I stubbed my big, left toe
God know’s how I caught the door frame
But it hurts like hell you know

So getting back into bed 
I walked into the door
Oh my god, what is happening
That’s the second mighty blow

So I lay a while but couldn’t sleep
Obviously I was in pain
Ah well I was sick of lying there
So thought I’d get up again

Well you are never gonna believe me
When I was just getting into my shower
I slipped on a wet bit on the floor
I left my shower for another hour

What the friggin’ heck!!
This was a disasterous day
I went splat down on the deck
I saw stars as I lay

‘Crikey Moses’ what was I going to do
Best thing was to go back to bed
My body was getting black & blue

I’m like a ticking time bomb
With an over-active internal fuse
I wouldn’t care if I’d been drinking
But I’d never had any booze

I am feeling very cantankerous
Verbally swearing with a moan
I’m a mad man on a mission
On a mine field in a war zone