He's So Handsome, I Can't Believe My Ears

When I say things like my momma did
When she was about eighty years old
“He's so handsome, I can't believe my ears”
It's time for a home I'm told!

The train's already left the station, no doubt
You're left standing on the platform
Before you cash in your chips as they say
Someone feeding you will be the norm

Such little things like forgetting your choppers
Or getting on the bus without pants
People snickering behind your back
As down the crowded aisle you prance

Some things are a little unusual they say
Like communicating with the birdies
In a language only you and they understand
Or when with a mannequin you get flirty

Wish me luck on the last leg of my journey
Had a blast without any regrets
Sure couldn't have asked for anything better
My life's been as good as it gets!