His absence

 
I despise you for your absence, Dad
I don’t know what to do
And it wasn’t my initial thought that you’d put your own blood through
The pain that I encountered during my youth
Questioning my mother on your whereabouts, she never told me the truth
Of course, I’ve grew to be an admirable woman
And it’s not that you couldn’t be there for me you just
Wouldn’t
With no condolences from you, I’ve made it in life
Regardless of absence and caused-by-you strife
Keep your distance, as you don’t possess ability
I don’t think about you now, your excuses don’t sit with me
As I’ve pondered your love for me for far too long
If your kids think you’re a family man, best believe they’ve been conned
It’s been 21 years, I craved you back then
To do your fatherly duty, read books, make dens
I’m an independent, strong young lady
And once upon a time I was supposed to be your baby
When I understood you didn’t want me instead of asking myself why
It was easier for me as I taught myself not to cry
I was entering this world and you were quick to pack a bag
What an awful excuse for a soon-to-be dad
You won’t hear from me now, live your life, I want call
I’m better off without you, of this I am sure

(This poem is a follow up from my previous poem ‘’My absence’’ – which I designed to wrote in the voice of my father to me, this poem is a reply to him)