Hollow man

Every time I talk, it like I’m speak a different language because you failure to understand me.

I screaming to the top of my lung like I’m on a roll coaster, nobody hears me.

They only open ears when say what  they want to hear.

A bright minded young man like me with abilities that can change the world; is stuck and tangled by spells performed by fake magicians, like the ones on television,

But I’m hypnotized.

Not because your magic is real or because it works.

I just chose to let it work on me, I mean for the very first time I belong to a circle of losers, jerks and idiots,

Sited amongst them at the cool table, ask me why I laugh at jokes which insult women, ask me why I agree to senseless thoughts, smiling , nodding my head. Why I never speak whats real on my mind, why I dress like an idiot, knowing very well I feel so uncomfortable with my pant hanging on my ass, plus its hard to walk normal with big shoes; the size of rocks in mining carts on your feet.

That explains why we late for class every time, even if its 5 minutes away from the cafeteria.

Its all about image and reputation, because no matter what someone always is watching, i remember when the nerd you just push hard into the wall was me at one point. 

Ask me why I hold back getting good grades, and being proud of a fail.

Why skipping school is cool, why I hang will these people who i know don’t care about me.

Ask me why I sacrificed my real friends, who when we cross path in the hallway; look at me with nailed eye of disgust.

Why I now smoke and drink, why coming home to my parents disappointed faces is worth it. Although my mother's eyes; full of tears cuts me deep.

Ask why having sex and using no protection is worth it, as the homies give you applauses which echo out the applauses of he who just won a noble piece price for saving the world, I’m that  could have been me. Still on saving the world and people topic

Ask why me its cool to discredit hard work or heroes of the struggle.

Ask me why I talk like I’m crazy, chopping and mixing English words in blends of ignorance.

Ask, please someone ask me

I promise stupidity always has an answer.

But belonging is always an action; whether stupid or smart actions

We all what to belong

And in high school belonging in the circle of cool kids,

Limits the i like you, secret letters you writing to the prom queen.

Imagining how a conversation with her will be like, fantasying how it will feel like if she was your girlfriend, walking though the hallway holding hands.

Plus it eliminates the bullying; underwear puling in front of the whole school, suicidal thoughts, hating your self so much that looking in the mirror becomes a nightmare.

So the answer to teachers which ask me why I have became an average student from an A+ student,

Is simple

I just wanna belong okay

I am just tired of being a ghost, being a hollow man

Lebron spirits