Holy Cow

think I'm going to Heaven.
as Dick the Vic just said
Whilst I was pulling his Trophy
and finishing a frothy head..
Sweet Jesus the Amber nectar
has been sent from above..
I altered the nozzle better
to put more fiz in his jug.
bless you my sweet..
as he pursed his lips to sip..
the bar door spontaneously
creaked.. .
I hear symbolic  crack of a whip
Mrs Vicar appeared in the Snug
Grabs Father Dick by the cassock
Escorts him out like a dog
Till his crusifix renders knacked.
the air a blasphemous smog..
As sinners who sinned unaware
All mouths open agog..
and congregate in universal prayer
as we stand so help me Lord
come hell or even high water..
I promise all ways to be good.
and be home for me dinner when I ought'ta

(inspired by Mick the Vic who's cassock float slipstream)