Hoover Queen

07/01/2022
‘Hoover Queen’

How many times a day,
Can a carpets delicate softness,
Be taken away.
Not by spray,
But hoover suction,
As my partner’s addicted,
In the hoovering kind of way!
I’m sure the colours even being sucked up off the kitchen lino,
Fading and taking the colour away.

Who would cause such harm by being so carpet mean.
To the floor beneath our feet.
I know the culprits
It’s my airy fairy,
‘Hoover Queen’.
All she wants,
Is for the replacement of her floors protective layer,
Picking up every crumb,
In sight to clean.
I’ve never known a woman like her.
To hoover her house 100 times a day.
Maybe more,
Not in-between!
All around her house she goes,
Making sure there’s constant glimmer.
Constant sheen.
Although I find it more than obsessive,
At least she’s not Unkempt in any way,
All because she’s hoover keen.
It helps keep her sane,
On days full of rain,
Dirt and pain.
As she hates the thought of being unclean.
She’s like a specialist carpet and floor fairy,
As 10 minutes every day,
She adds her Sheen.
I dread to think what goes on in her head when we are out,
As In her head,
she has a hoover daydream. 
You take that hoover from her,
It’s like having your cake,
Without any cream!
My gods but she’d bring fury down on anyone,
That would ruin her hoover pipeline dream.
If you stop her from hovering,
You’d hear her from miles around,
As she shouts her loudest scream.
Hovering to her,
Is better than anything!!!