Horoscopes

Aries: A good start to your morning would be starting it in the morning. Things are different now, but different doesn't mean bad.

Capricorn: Everyone blames the bull, but nobody blames the street that lead the bull to the china shop.

 Leo: They say don't fight fire with fire; twas the fire that made the teapot whistle.

Sagittarius: Ramen Noodle Night every night isn't so bad. They keep you warm and alive, while sushi and caviar go coldly down a cold throat. 

Virgo: Don't pass go. Don't collect two hundred dollars. Stop and cherish what you have while you're young. 

Scorpio: You are never lost with stars in the sky and in your eyes. Follow the glow and you'll always find your way home.

Aquarius: Sleep until the ground is level. Then get up and start anew, for the sake of everyone who loves you. 

Pisces: If you lie with dogs, you're bound to get dirty. So rinse yourself off and do it again. Dirt adds character.

Gemini: Self confidence is like a bug zapper. It attracts them, but pretty soon they will stop bugging you. 

Cancer: They call you a lone wolf because you are by yourself. But a lone wolf is still profound, still talked about, still can survive. A pack of one still has one. 

Taurus: Cry. It's okay. The moon is warm enough to dry your tears but cold enough not to tell.   

Libra: They never notice you until you get over them. It's for the best. Now make them suffer.