Hotel Scar Borough

the feeling of being alien,
of, being different ..
not one of the crowd..
standing out like
a sore thumb...
an outsider...
was very prevalent,
at reception.
I had my red spotty case,
I bought from Oxfam,
for five pounds..
A charitable bargain,
and a good cause,
And expectation of a nice
relaxing stay, in a hotel
next the sea..
What I didnt bargain on,
was it being a ' home' for
' homeless people'..
right there, in the middle
of my pleasure dome..
there were the laggers
of society, those who
for whatever reason didnt
function the norm ..
lolling about
the sofas that I 'd come
to sit on..
They say you get what you pay
for, well it wasnt the cheapest
digs ..I went through the motions
checking in, thinking ' I wish I'd
booked the Royal" instead.
A lot were young, a group of
young people living in a hotel,
You might think that's great,
But when I laid on my bed
in that tiny room,..
with blanched walls and monochrome..
I thought..it would drive me mad..
this is no ' home'..living in cardboard
cut out land..
I sat in reception and observed ..
A young man had an appointment,
on the sofa in the Foyer,
girls were eating burgers they"d
brought in, the bar man asked
them not to do that..
I would do it if it was me..
there was a shout from the back..
a lad asked for a Strawberry Daiquari
( for my benefit maybe)
and the barman said hed have one too,
the old chap,bought a bottle of
Chardonnay, and shared it with the
group ..
(I felt like a nob with my mineral water)
theres jobs at Butlins, someone said
theres jobs..
' shut the fuck up' said the cocky lad
with a chip on his shoulder..
He thought hed blown their cover,
But I knew the second I walked in ..
I already knew
I've been there..a few..
times in my life, and used the system.
The trick is to ' use' it and move on..
not to just 'hang"
nor take up a career on doing nothing..
I sat on the couch not wanting to move..
But not because of them..I felt a strange pang..
You feel you dont belong,
But you do .they are my paranoia..
my anxiety..personified in the flesh..
and I beat it..
Which they can do, if they had the
gumption to try..
I was sorely reminded of a time
gone by,
Dont let the gashes and scrapes of life beat you down..its totally up to you ..
and dont assume you know where
I'm coming from..I stress..
By my outwardly appearance..
You dont know where I've been..
The struggles and pits I fell into..
No way would I want a life,.
living in a hotel, I'd rather be home less.
.