I against me

Why are you making me feel so incapable yet allowing me to appear so confident are you against me as it feels it right now 
You let the would world see me one way yet make me feel the exact opposite why is that? 

Why are you forcing me into a one sided battle where neither I or me will win as neither is ideal right now 
You let things happen even though you know they won’t help so why let them is it to torture me? 

Why are you signposting me down a dirt track leading to nowhere when there’s a picturesque Lane leading to all my dreams in the other direction 
You let me hurt everyone around me because I can’t make it work so I can actually achieve something 

Why are you why are you making me hate myself all I want is to love myself but you won’t let me 
You are a devil let you live inside me and I wish you wouldn’t