Behind the smile

Beyond the smile is a barrage of self hate and internal ridicules that make life so lonely sometimes 
Yet I seem so confident what a double standard 
Behind the smile is an organ that is in overdrive thinking about every what if dispute if not being able to control them 
Yet I seem so composed so untrue 
Behind the smile is a girl who’s habit has resurfaced because life feels to much 
Yet I seem as though I’d never oh if only you knew the truth 
Behind the smile is someone who knows they are so lucky to be here right now 
Yet I seem okay I wish I was