I Air Guitared A Baby
It's not as bad as it sounds
We were once so inebriated
That we exorcised my sister
Pressed a cross against her head
It smouldered and left a blister..
She was writhing around the floor
Of her lysergic lounge
She writhed and writhed some more
Levitated off the ground..
Have you ever been so wasted
To walk home in someone else's shoes?
When it happened to me last
I'd been slapping thighs to Billy String's blues..
Have you ever been so in the zone
That you played air guitar with a plastic baby?Β
My sister in between laughing fits
Managed to mutter "Help Me!"
Maggot Brain was playingΒ
Eddie Hazel's electric riff
That plastic baby's limbs became maluable
They were anything but stiff..
The Viagra Boys came on next
I played that baby like a saxophone..
Once the song had finishedΒ
I promised to be normal, then I went home..
So whenever you hear tales of hedonismΒ
Of someone bigging it up, acting crazy..
Look them dead in the face and ask...
"You ever air guitared a baby??"
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Comments
Ha ha...love it...I never walked home in someone else's shoes but quite often without mine...ππ
Thanks Marion, I didn't think anyone was going to touch this poem with a barge pole π. My sister had a good laugh at it. I'll stop by your page when I get a minute.
-Syd xoΒ
π
Now Syd everyone of your writes is good I did get a chuckle out of this lol
π
Cheers for your kind comment Lisa. I thought this one might have been pushing the boundaries a bit and no-one would want anything to do with it. It is a true story though and of course...no babies (even plastic ones) were harmed. π
- Syd xoΒ
I love this Syd, it's fucking heavy, like a slipknot track, send it to them, it will be the next sick song. I do air guitar but never with a baby,Β I did walk into a bar with my daughters doll, I was holding it by the head, the old men at the bar thought I was holding a real baby, I walked in and just threw it on the table, my daughter was not impressed,Β Β thought it was funny as hell.
Ha ha ha brilliant Gerard!Β
Thank you for the comment and pin. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem.
- Syd