I am not good enough

I am not good enough for you
there are things I've done and do
I am not a perfect being 
but I will fall I don't just lean
do you really want all that
do you really want my fat
Fat what a funny word
something every insecure person has heard
something so damaging it's hard to bounce back
it just reminds us of the perfection we lack
although stupid and ugly also hurt
Fat makes a dent often too deep to be fixed with comfort 
but why do we use it why was it created
when it just leaves the victim's ego deflated
and unless they're sick the attacker shouldn't feel anything close to elated
but really whats wrong with fat and why is it hated
why do I not like to look in the mirror?
it should never affect my love life or career 
why do I feel like I can't compete
why do I feel like I will never be like the other girls pretty and elite
so I do what any fourteen years old does, I put on some makeup to cover and cheat
and when I land a Boyfriend I will finally feel complete 
only to lose him because we were only in high school
but even if it makes sense I'll still feel like a fool.

*just your regular Tuesday night rant...that rhymes haha thanks!