I am undone

I can’t shift the cloud that’s taken residence across my weary heart.

Despite the bombardment of distractions, inside I’m clearly falling apart.

Anger and frustration fire my soul, cursing the choices I have made

Led by my heart and not my head, lies bare the bed of nails I have laid.

Contempt rears its ugly head, its shadow ever darkening my path

A streak of viciousness I can’t deny and I, ashamed in its aftermath…

Reel with my audacity yet nothing can cleanse my poisoned vein,

For that cloud, within a breath, returns to shroud my heart again.

Wishing dreams come true, hark hear reality laughing at my cheek,

So foolish my naivety, for the path I so steadfast and vehemently seek…

And I surrender, my fight is hopeless and I too tired to compete.

Dream shattered and I a shadow, broken and withered in defeat.

Each ugly thought, a tear, in the fabric of morality I once wore,

Now ragged and thread bear with that contemptuous, bitterness I abhor.

As I watch all those I love, reel from this monster I have become,

The tears fall and yet the anger rises…once again, for all I gave, I am undone.