I apologize

I apologize for letting him coming between us
I really let my ignorance take over and let him belittle my mind
I let him play tug of war with my emotions
I was not aware that he was playing games to keep me distracted from you
I was not aware that he was not attentive but trying to tear us apart
He was tending to my emotions with mockery that I confused with Witt
He attended to my problems with mediocrity that I confused as lack of depth from him
I confused his games for a mask of his true emotions
I didn't think an individual could be so cold

I apologize for letting you feel you had to measure up to something beneath your greatness
You were kind and true and I chose to belittle your wonderful nature
You were honest and forthcoming and I was not able to receive you as you were
I apologize that I chose to compare you with something that couldn't even be a similie
I apologize that I chose to breathe into a lifeless situation
Breath into something that was filled with holes for all my efforts to render useless
I am so sorry that I brought you tears and didn't hear you screaming for me
Waited for you to start leaking to notice there was trouble and our us was sinking
I apologize I let my insecurities lead me to an empty space
I kicked you and tended to you with alcohol for your wounds

You were the sweetest at times where I only was unkind to you
You were the most level headed when I was being hot headed and stubborn
Your kisses were gentle
Your words were only building me when I kept demolishing your world
My unfaithfulness was not only ignorant, it was arogant
I thought I knew what I was doing but had no idea I was going astray
I flirted with danger and felt flattered when it burnt me because in my head
At least it responded
It did SOMETHING
I was lost

I apologize that I gambled with what we built