What is left

My mind and tongue have grown further apart
My mind and my hand seem distant
All the while trying to grasp if the words are unable to escape me or the words have left
I am unable to put words together and find it hard to understand if I'm unable to speak when I should or slowly losing the ability to put words together like a beautiful 500 puzzle like I could
I often hear if you do not use your gift,you lose your gift
I often think how can one lose their gift isn't that like breathing
A little more complex since breathing is also a tricky art
How can what is you no longer be you
How have words seized to exist within me
Unable to order themselves before they leave me like a choreographed dance
Why do they no longer show up and when they do come out so disorderd
I can no longer rely so effortlessly on my words leaping from me taking centre stage and showing out ever so elegantly 
Has my internal world been such a disaster things no longer have their place
Has my internal world been so ignored I didn't notice what was being lost along the way
I do not know how to call my mind to piece it altogether again
I'm freaking out here
My tongue and hands rely on you to let what are thoughts leave articulately 
When words seem so unfamiliar between us what do we have left