Show up for me

I have been fixated on things that have no value
I have been so critical
Overly sharp 
That it cut deep into me
Put me in a critical state of mind
Each thought leading to the next more damaging than the last
Wish I could say they leave
They don't 
They are the most committed
Somehow we started making appointments 
Meeting regularly 
Leaving burdened 
One day the thoughts went further than being just thoughts
They were embedded in my identity
My character started to follow suit
Started feeling weak
Much less sure of myself
A lot less present
Reality was dingy
Fantasies visited less and less
It became hard to sleep but it was all I wanted
Sleep was the calmest state
The dark marks under my eyes became more evident
Looked like my body was trying to leave signs for help
The more questions I was asked of how I was
The more I realized something may be out of kilt
As if it were wrong for someone to ask such a basic question
Somehow the place that I was, those sorts of questions seemed nonsensical
I didn't feel one asked with true intention to know
It was those ridiculous cold formalities that exist
Then I started to take note of my surroundings - Triggers
Started questioning thoughts about myself - Self Esteem
What I wanted so bad out of everything - Expectations
I was reminded of how important it is to show up for myself
Have good intentions not for only those around you but myself
Support and learn about myself
Pause the ladder climbing 
Pause all obsessing about the outside world and dive deep into the realm of me and my happiness
Show up for me