I Build Walls

I Build Walls
  
 
When I see you
I don't show it, but I am afraid . . .
And you don't know

My boundaries?
What boundaries . . . 
Mine have always been someone else's
Engulfed, swallowed whole was I

Now, coming to know my fear
I am the architect of great hardrock walls
Mined by hand
And shaped by mind
Into a fortress so sublime
That even I, the engineer
Cannot find the keystone

My boundaries?
What boundaries . . . 
I build walls, to hide behind
Engulfed, ignorance is bliss says I

I am trapped here
With my books and my music
In this place
Where I can never feel the smoothness of your skin
Reach out to touch your cheek
Or put my arms around you to say goodnight

My boundaries?
What boundaries . . . 
I build walls and they hold back the tears
A rock, like rock am I!

I know these walls as mine
I have set the stones carefully
And one at a time
Following an ancient plan
Setting stone after stone, securely
Using a mortar mixed from tears
Upon a scaffolding of lies

My boundaries?
What boundaries . . . 
I build walls

30 July, 1990
mag
chas altvater