I Can't Stop

I don't even know how it started,
or where it even came from.
All i know is that it needs to end.
For my life has become totally undone.

But i can't stop

It was alcohol and weed at one point,
then coke and heroin the next.
Pills and meth made life feel real different,
but those times weren't always the best.

But i can't stop

How many shots can i take in one night?
Can i get home for once without having a fight?
Wait a minute, i don't live at home with mom anymore.A
It's the weekend and i'm in college, yeah that's right!

But i can't stop.

With no parent to control me,
my limits i will play with like grains of sand.
And no matter what happens tonight,
i know that my life's really just began.

But i can't stop.

I wake up in a strange woman's bed one morning,
the next, opening my eyes in her girlfriends bedroom.
How in the fuck did i get into this situation?
Did i drink too much way too soon?

But i can't stop! 

All of my friends are doing it,
why can't i indulge too?  it's all hush, hush
I'm very good at self control,
so i know i won't end up a lush.

But i can't stop.....

A once or twice a week thing,
suddenly has turned into a daily debacle.
Now i know it's just mind over matter,
so for me, it's really just a small obstacle.

But i can't stop.

What kind of thoughts are these i'm having?
They've never happened before.
I thought i would be feeling much better,
doing drugs and drinking alcohol.

But i can't stop!

Whores, meaningless sex and drunkenness,
lies, missed classes, hangovers and bad grades.
I'm failing my subjects and my GPA is 2.0
What a fucking mess i just made.

But i can't stop!!!!

Now i done flunked out of college,
so how do i explain this to my mom?
I think i got a few excuses that might work,
but wait, first let me hit this bong....

I can't stop..

I don't need any help y' know,
because i can quit at any time.
Besides, no one who cares has said anything.
So i know i'm really just fine.

But i can't stop.

Good days suddenly turn into a blur.
I have no idea which way is up.
Still being in denial is what's got me stuck.
And i know i want to quit but...

I can't stop.

Hanging with the wrong crowds,
a dangerous line i'm in between.
Caught up in the abusual stage,
where nothing ever stays clean.

But I CAN"T STOP!!!

It all started so innocently,
now it's dead relationships, estranged family members.
I finally tried to kill myself one night,
now i've wound up in a detox center.

So here i sit writing to all of you,
exactly how quick it can all go bad.
The next time you want to drink or do drugs,
think of all of these times i had...

And you will stop...