I Didn't Love Him Until

My tongue is a skilled craftsmen; for it has produced vibrations that are chronologically aligned perfectly to perform a theatrical musical for ears that have never been acquainted with sound before, much like flower petals being saturated by their first mist of rain in the spring. A musical in which its lyrics contain painful unspoken realities and a stomach wrenching cliche. And it might make bitter souls a tad bit nauseated because of the words I'm allowing my mouth to say. but i'll continue explaining, any. way.

I didn't love him until i saw him in her arms.
his lips on her lips.
his hands on her hips.
my lipsticked pout at the mercy of a striped straw as my sips.
deepened.
I didn't love him until it was too late.
why was he here? I haven't heard from him in two months.
I don't smoke but I began to cough as if i hit two blunts.
I don't smoke but i began to feel high as if i hit two blunts.
He must have been a daredevil because he. just. hit. two stunts.
I tried to control+alt+delete and backspace.
images of him and her from my internal data base.
but when i closed my eyes all i could see was his face.
and if he came in any flavor he would possess a metallic blood taste.
because he demands to linger and never. ever be. erased.

Maybe i'm hallucinating. I mean if my thoughts can allure him into my subconscious. and my subconscious can lend him free tickets to the 3 A.M. drive -in films located in the back abandon parking lot of my soul with a movie entitled "My Dreams" it is more than possible that he has leaked over into reality, merely asking for an encore viewing of the film age he was exposed to prior to dawn... 
Maybe I just need a nap. Insomniacs are never really awake and never really sleep. So all i need to do is catch some shut-eye for my peeps. All my problems becoming resolved by the counting of some sheep.

but.
I couldn't let him see me take extensive delicious glances towards him from the slits of my eyes. 
i have no legitimate reason why.
but i despise.
him.

I'm connected to him.
In nervous palms I managed to find refuge in ice cubes clinking off my glass sugared rim.
My bones ached, signaling me that he has set foot upon the scene.
For when he entered the room, it grew silent.
Voices were muted, and i had no facts or fictions to explain the temperature change in this climate.
When I saw him my heart skipped a couple beats.
​I thank God that i was wise enough to take my stiletto heels off my feet.
but then I saw him with her; and my heart stopped.
I guess I'm going to be in desperate need of a blood transfusion because of  this severe atmospheric pressure dropped.
Clean up on isle 13; We need a puddle of tears mopped.

I didn't love him until he showed up at my junior prom with another girl.
I didn't love him until he made her his stars, moon, sky, and world.
I didn't love him until my face was flushed with anger because he wasn't my date.
I didn't love him until it was too late.

-C.N.H