I Don't Know
I don’t know who I am
I don’t remember who I was
I don’t know how to live a life I don’t feel is mine
Everyday I wake up, walking on eggshells
Because I’m silently losing my mind
A heart so pure, a heart so broken
A mind strictly living in hell
How and when did I become so unwell?
I miss being happy
But then I wonder, was I ever really happy?
Was it ever real? Was it ever there?
This mask I use has become my true identity
I’m so tired of feeling lonely
When I’m surrounded by people
I’m so tired of feeling... everything
I don’t know how someone can fake a smile, fake a laugh
But somehow I’ve become a professional
This disease is killing me
I just want to be set free
But it just won’t go away
Faking my life another dayÂ
I’m running out of things to say
Feeling miserable, lost, and over it all
This disease is known as Depression,Â
and it’s become my best friend
Because it’s part of me
I don't know if it will ever stop
I don’t know if it will ever end
I want to live... but my mind is already dead.
Stephanie Davis
03/15/20
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Comments
Awww such a call of desperation... We are all here for you Stephaine! I really enjoyed the write though so very intricate, it has many details and standpoints. I wish you all the best! The Fish of the Sea
Thank you for you comment and your support. It means a lot to me. I'm still in a depression but not as bad as I once was now that I started writing again!
Poetry is very therapeutic! Best to get sour words onto paper then keep thinking about them. Again we are here for you Stephanie! Kind regards. The Fish of the SeaÂ
<3 <3
Aching to help!
Thank you for the kind words <3
Not uncommon today, and the dearest and nearest are the rock for you to climb. Of course, as said by TFOTS, your continuing to write it down is a great way to see the light in this dark abyss! Best wishes.
Thank you. <3 I really do appreciate everyone's kind words!! It means a lot more than anyone will ever know. My depression isn't as bad as it used to be, but it's still there. I face it every day with an attitude that I can get through it and not be consumed by it although it's very hard to fully win against it. I'm trying. <3 <3Â
Sad write Stephanie, I get it, i suffer and as Mr Fish says ..writing is extremely theraputic, at least I have found it so...hugs ?
Thank you, and I hope you also find relief.Â