Warm Blooded, But..

I'm warm blooded
But I'm as hard as ice

With cold emotions running

through my veins

And a heart that's trying to

beat faster just to try and keep up

This heart becomes desperate

not to get overstimulated 

Better yet, make that over flooded 

Hurt people, do in fact, hurt people

And trust me, no one could

handle my history

Let alone handle any

or all of my pains

I'm warm blooded 

But I'm as cold as ice

And this attitude I have now

Is a backbone I finally gained

When I lost both of my legs

and both of my feet

And now because

I've beendealt a hand

That's much shorter than

what I'm used to

I have no choice but to sit down

and look up, to you

All while you are standing there

with now the upper hand

The higher advantage 

For the fact that you're still standing 

Let nothing fool you

I still matter, my voice is still loud

And still quite empowering 

And every now and then, demanding 

You still have the opportunity 

You still have the privilege 

To quit looking down on me

To quit looking down at me

To quit looking down past me

Why not just accept the fact 

That I'm still here

I'm obviously on a journey

And clearly

I'm not going anywhere

Why not, just join me 

And take your own seat

Let's talk, take a chance 

To get to know me

Instead you still choose to 

Be something other

Than that of what comes naturally 

And should, honestly, be free

And that's just being kind

Instead you stand in front of me

And continue to mock me

Continue to underestimate me

Continue to question my life quality 

And that's not even up to you

Shit, that's not even up to me!

That's solely on the man above

Why do I let people fuck with my mind?!

I'm still a human

I'm still a human

And I still do deserve to be

respected and loved 

This new person I have become

Isn't the one for the gossip or the tea

I'm not the one for the crazy city 

Or the bright lights and the

loudness or the drama 

I'm currently living my life 

Happy, and somewhat peacefully

I'm trying to live more calmly

So save it for the

Lord and your momma

I'm warm blooded 

But now I'm as numb as ice

Because life itself, became

Something else 

And decided to fuck me over

Not once, but twice

So yes, I now say what I mean 

And I mean what I say

Don't hate me

Don't hate who I am now

For it was life and people

Who created this version of me

That others now get to finally see

Today, In this world and society 

I've come to love and accept

My new born self

And so I've decided

I'm going to stay this way

I'll always say "I'm fine"

Because one day, I know

I'll be more than just okay

I'm warm blooded

With iced over ice running

through my veins 

With already enough anxiety 

That I'm already trying

My hardest to keep sustained

Trying my hardest to keep

My demons away, restrained 

I love this new found, me

So why do people

still judge me?

Why do people continue

to hate on me?

For accepting a

new life journey?

Because the man above

Didn't choose you,

But in fact, chose me?

I'm not sure I'm quite

understanding 

This is my new life 

My second chance to

write a new story

So stop judging me

Please

At least just try to be

A decent human being

I'm warm blooded

But forever hard as ice

Because in reality 

People,

It doesn't cost anything

To be nice

When it comes to

Life, that is different 

Because no one

can control that

Because that's just our own fate

And not our wishes,

or part of our destiny

I'm warm blooded 

Because of what

I've been through 

I'm warm blooded

Because of what

I've survived, too

I'm warm blooded

And I'm full of icy veins 

But I'still don't treat you

The way that you treat me

Or should I say

The way that you used to do. 

 

 

Stephanie A. Ludwig 

05/24/2025

 

 

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