My History

My life took a turn for the worse
When i was only 11
When my so called daddy abandoned me
A year went by and I started becoming interested in sexual activity 
Now that sounds worse than it seems
Another year went by 
And what do you know I'm 13
I became an online sex machine 
I became the online IT girl 
Everyone wanted a piece of me
Being scandalous online
Became my nightly routine
Till I met the wrong man
And he exploited me
Daddy been long gone at that point 
Mommy became severely depressed 
Her mind always going
Never giving her a rest
Turned out horrible for me
Especially as the years went on
And I finally turned 18
Everything I witnessed her go through
I eventually also, went through
I guess the apple doesn't really fall far from the tree
When your daddy leaves
And your mommy no longer wants to breathe 
I grew up raising my brother 
As he grew up raising me
Mommy was there physically 
Never mentally or emotionally 
Daddy only came around 
When he wanted something from Mommy 
Never spent no time with my brother or me
He was never around, 
But only temporarily 
I have daddy issues 
And I became obsessed with older men wanting me
I have mommy issues
And I became excited by the torture and the abuse that always found me
I'm 34 now and I'm finally grown 
I don't want to keep repeating my generational history
So when I turn 35 I'm going to turn a new leaf
It's going to be all about me
And how I choose to let myself free.

Stephanie A. Ludwig 
10/18/2025