I Don't Know Why
They screw you up your Mum and Dad
I don't know why it had
The effect it did
Worse things have happened
To me
But I tend to remember things.
Emotions can run riot.
I have a younger brother
And younger sister
No older siblings.
I was the first born:
The novelty to my
Young parents.
Some years later
(Though we were still children)
My parents got out family photos.
There were more of me
Than my siblings
Since I'd been their novelty
And my photos had
Captions
"Playing with my grandparents"
'I always listen to "The Archers"
Don't you?'
(They'd put headphones
On me).
Innocent, and as children
We'd always been easy
About nudity- bathing together.
No shame or embarrassment.
Until that day with the
Photo albums.
Turn the page and
There's a baby lying on
A mat, face down
Naked, head to one side
Could it be my cousin
(Same age)? No.
"It's you!"with the caption
"How undignified!"
(bare bum showing)
And so I had
My mother, my father,
My brother my sister
Laughing at me.
As my parents shoved
Forbidden fruit
Down my throat and
Made me feel ashamed
For no reason.
Other photos taken
A few years later
Showed myself
And siblings playing
Naked in the garden:
Full frontal innocent
Nudity, but then why
Would my parents
Want to photograph
Anything else?
A few years later I
Was allowed to
Throw that photograph away.
But ever since
I've always wanted to
Be accepted for who I am.
It's funny how seemingly minor events from childhood can have such a lasting effect.
MDC
