I miss you

Hey old best friend. Old lover. The one I thought that would be my forever. My strength and my laughter. My own special treasure. 

I’m so sorry. For hurting you.
I didn’t know that your heart was being abused. 
By me. I was just scared. A kid scared to fall in love. 

But I have always loved you from the very first day. When you asked me if I need help. I loved you in every single way. 

And no matter how long it’s been, Since we last talked. I’ll always love you. Always want you. You are my first choice. And always will be. 
But I should have shown it through. 

Through talking and loving. Giving you affection. Those couple times we hugged, I could barely function. Set me off edge into a world of pure happiness. 

I’d see your face and mine would light up like a bright summers day. My heart would race. And It sink down my chest, Bcs it was Me that you found. The true me. And it had made me so happy. That with you my true self would be brought about. 

But I had fucked up! This perfect relationship! And I haven’t heard your voice in two years. That perfect comforting voice. It felt like home. YOU were my home. And now I’m homeless! And I’m not alone. 

But I miss you! I miss you like crazy! And no apology will bring you back to me. I’ll never hold you in my arms again. Get to call you my best friend. 

It breaks me everyday. And I hate myself for it. That I was stupid enough to push you away....