I NEED A NIP AND TUCK

I think i need some work done

just a little  tuck or two

so I'm off to see the surgeon

to see what he can do

They say he is quite famous

he really holds some clout

so Ive booked up an appointment

to sort my body out

So off i went  to London

with my cheque book & perfume

i took the train, then a cab

now I'm in the waiting room

I couldn't keep it secret

their were people there i knew

he called me in & then he said

" what can i, do for you "

WELL, my ears, they just stick out

& my nose is far to long

my eyes are to close together

& my mouth is just so wrong

My legs are far to skinny

my feet are much to small

id like my fingers longer

& i want to be quite tall

My arms look more like chicken wings

& i need a bit more hair

my boobs are really tiny

so ill need a bigger pair

My knees they knock together

my bum is much too saggy

my neck looks like a road map

& my eyes are really baggy

my shoulders are too rounded

& my eyes i want them blue

they said you are the best

so thats why I've come to you
 

my tummy needs a tuck or two

& my hips look out of place

my skin could do with changing

& there's wrinkles in my face

my elbows are so boney
& my eye brows seem to meet

this is all i need i think

& then ill be complete

so when can you start on me

can you do it in a day

money is no object

my hubby he can pay
 

WELL..i am quite speechless

but ill tell you what I think

it's not a tuck or two you need

you really need a SHRINK !!!!!!!!

© Written by Tracey Curtis...27\2\14