I QUIT......
Right that's it I've had enough
I'm giving up fucking fags
I smell like a bleeding ashtray
My life's become one long drag'!
Blow suck, blow suck
It's all I ever seem to do
I feel like a ten dollar hooker
My fucking lips are turning blue!
I'm gonna concentrate on fitness
This shits no good for my health
Plus fags cost a small bleeding fortune
So bang goes my long term wealth!
I'm wheezing when I take the stairs
Making love is too much of a chore
The wifes bought a cock with batteries
Won't accept my two minutes anymore!
I tried to give up once before
But I piled on too much weight
My breathing was a lot better
But I had an arse the size of Kuwait!
So fags, goodbye, auf wiedersehen
Won't be needing you any longer
Well there again, maybe not just yet
Perhaps when I'm feeling stronger!!
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Comments
Haha nice write! My favorite lines:
I like your style of writing. Always very entertaining!
Val ♥️
Aww Val you're a love thanks, much appreciated :)
I totally agree Valerie, that was defintely my favourite Stanza. Jason, I think it's easy to take for granted sometimes those who write in a particular genre and do it really well. It's almost taken for granted, but this for me is one of your best written comedic poems that you have done in recent times. It have some great lines of imagery in there and had my smiling broadly all the way through. A topic many can relate to. A high 5 and nomination without question:)xx
Rachel you're comments and support mean the world to me, thanks hun X:)
Dude you're a funny guy
Jason Lee Gardiner,
Congrats on your winning nomination dear Jason,
Regards & Love
WILLIAMSJI MAVELI
Haha Jase !
Straight from a frustrated smoker..
I read this with a fag in my hand..
Maybe what we need is...
Some kind of 'giving up choker?"
My vote and nom also mate :)
jason
hilarious again my friend!
been a while! hope you are well!
Thanks Stephen glad you enjoyed it pal.
I'm great thanks, working this morning then off to an FA Cup BBQ later with Rach and the kids... How's yourself? Are you still in Africa?
FA Cup! im jealous!
no it was a short trip to Kenya! got home back in February! it was an awesome experience!
cant wait to go back!
Good to hear you enjoyed it buddy...
Yeah some of mine and Rach's best friends are Arsenal fans so were going to their place for a BBQ and a few beers and of course to watch the final, as Man Utd fans of course me and Rach will be supporting Hull lol :)
hope yall have a great time!
go man u!!!
Cheers dude take care :)
Woohoo GO MAN UTD!!!!
Have a brew for me guys :)
Haha I'll drink a few for you Carey no problem :)