SECRET SANTA

One cold Christmas Eve, on a rooftop up high
A poor man was standing, shouting up at the sky
He'd just lost his job; his wife kicked him out
The overdraft was huge and their future in doubt
After ranting at God, he wiped the tears from his eyes
Then he placed down a note, with his testament and goodbyes
He walked to the edge, now ready to jump off
When suddenly from behind. he heard someone cough
Santa was there! He asks the man if he's well
The fella opens his heart, he had so much to tell
"I've nothing left to live for, my life is a flop"
Santa then pleads, "Don't be hasty, please stop"
"It's Christmas time, i'll make your dreams come true
Though if I sort out your problems, I'm owed a favour from you"
"That would be wonderful... thanks" the man said
Santa then told him about what lay ahead
"Firstly go home, your wife's waiting there
Wearing only a fur coat and her sexiest underwear
She's longing for you, will beg your affection
Forget you just split, she has no recollection
Then go back to work, after the Christmas holiday
Sit behind your desk, as if it's just another day
Your boss will be happy, your salary increased
Totally oblivious, that your employment had ceased
Last but not least, check your current account
You'll find you're in credit, by a very large amount"
The man is so thrilled, he squeals "Oh thank you!
Just name any favour, that you want me to do?"
"Take off your trousers and get down on your knees"
The man is unsure, yet he reluctantly agrees
Santa was rampant and emptied his sac
It hurt like hell, but the debt was paid back!
The man shouted at Santa "Call yourself a saint?"
"Oh I've been to party, the real St Nick I ain't
I'm stunned you believed me you gullible git"
Said the gay old man, in a Santa outfit.