I told someone today.......

                 
 
I told someone today that my daughter had died…
It wasn’t the truth..I don’t know why I lied,
but then again maybe, there was just a grain
of something that made me tell that lie again.
                                                                                                           
She lives and she thrives -not a worry in sight.
Her world is entire and as always… is right!
She shuts out the ones who have loved her so long
 whose lives she has shattered, who no longer belong.
 
To hear the words coldly ,‘just fuck off and die’
If you get dementia I’m one who won’t cry’,
Are words you can never imagine you’d  hear
from someone you’ve always held ever so dear.
 
She blocks you on Facebook, she changes her phone.
She keeps her child from you and changes her home,
and then if you try to  keep tabs on her life,
she tells the whole world you just cause her more strife.
 
So days turn to weeks and months  into years….
With never a phone call or letter… just tears.
You look at old photos and wonder quite why
the love you thought she had for you - could just die…
 
You live in a nightmare from which you can’t wake…
You try to live life …but at some point can't take
the pain of rejection,  too painful to bear,
and so for protection, pretend she’s not there.
 
When all hope has gone -your heart locked with a key,
but still chained to emotions nobody can see,
and nothing else works  but you know  that you’ve tried….
that’s when you tell somebody  else .….that she’s died….