I want to talk with you

I want to talk with you 
I swear, it’s true 
but I feel like I’m drowning when I do
sometimes like I’m dying, too
It’s not your fault 
I’m like this by default 
a locked vault 
a girl made of salt 

You haven’t done anything wrong 
I hide when I see you but I always regret it 
because I’m still convinced I don’t belong 
It’s just too embarrassing to admit 
that I can no longer commit 
that I would rather quit 
that I am haunted by the same old shit

The more you like me the harder it gets 
cus friends last like cigarettes 
Every conversation leaves me counting regrets 

“I should’ve kept my mouth shut”
“Now she probably thinks I’m a slut”
“Does he even like me at all?”
That’s why I never call
cus the higher I climb, the harder I fall

If I don’t try I can’t fail 
so I stay away 
cus relationships are frail 
and I’ll run out of things to say 
But maybe I’ll talk to you again some day
Not today
(No way)
But maybe you’ll like me anyway?

I want to talk with you 
If only you knew