I WILL HAVE TO DECLINE

 
Invited to a party just the other day  
Don't want to go I have to say 
Drinks will be drunk it will be a messy affair
My wife will take ages deciding what outfit to wear 

I need an excuse and I need it quick  
Maybe feign illness and pretend that I'm sick 
Don't get me wrong I'm grateful for the invitation 
It's just the people are boring and don't fill me with elation 

So I will be sick and pretend to be unwell  
Going to this party would be torture and hell