I WONDER

Pain has sought shelter
in my heart,
In my mind.
I wonder
how long i can hold on
It’s exhausting
Pretending as if I’m okay
When clearly
I’m on the verge of falling

I wanna fall and never return
I wish to experience peace again
I wish to be happy again
I wish to have hope again
To smile a real smile

Though,
I wonder
if i have the energy anymore
Will I even survive tomorrow
I ask myself everyday.
I look in my eyes
and only recognize the emptiness in them

Is any emotion i show real anymore?
I wonder
Is the next day going to be same?
Me pretending yet again.