I WONDER IF HE KNOWS

As far as fathers go
I guess he wasn't the best
But he is still my Dad 
And I love him to death                                                                                                                                                         
Were not the type of family
That ever talked very much
Hugged or ever held hands
Never knew of all that stuff
Dad would work all day
Then come home late, drunk
And drag you out of bed   
Asking what'd you learn today
You were scared or tired
You couldn't think of what to say
Sometimes you'd get the spatular
Other times Mum would pay
Sometimes we'd try and hide it
But when he couldn't find it 
It just made things worse. 

Weekends were our day out
Saturdays and Sundays at the pub
My sister and I would sit outside
Left to entertaining ourselves
Dad, bring us a bag of chips
And a drink, every now and then
Sometimes I'd get a sip of beer
But I never really liked it
After many, many long hours
Finally we'd go home
Sometimes late after dark
Mum would be waiting
Patiently all alone.

He took me to a park, once
Instead of to the pub 
I guess Mum must have said
Go kick a ball around 
Spend some time with him
It didn't last very long
It wasn't dads type of thing
I wished my friends could see me
That I was with him
I just wanted to feel proud
But no one ever saw us
Some never even knew
That I even had a dad.

When he finally left us
I never even cried
I pretended to be glad 
I think we even cheered
Said he had to catch the bus
Said he wasn't coming back
He left us with no money
Mum tried to kill herself 
The second time she did
We had to fend for ourselves
So I left school 
I had a younger sister
She was still at school
Couldn't think of just myself.

These days I have a daughter
I see her every now and then 
I used to have a wife 
It seems the grass was greener
On our neighbour's side
I don't know what she wanted
Perhaps a better life
I never told my daughter
Somethings are just not said
So I keep my silence
My daughter doesn't need to know
It's no way to raise children
I learnt that a long time ago
It's no good when parents fight.

Now days 
Dad's in a nursing home
Because he cannot walk
Doctors always told him
That beer is just no good
I hardly ever see him
I know I really should
I wish that I could hug him
But I doubt I ever could
Its hard to understand
You only have one Dad
Whether he's good or bad
It doesn't really matter 
Cause I love him dearly
Soon he'll be gone again
And again, I will be sad.