Poem -

If I Had One Hour With You

If I Had One Hour With You

“Can we sit here a while longer ?
Maybe stay here for the day?”

“No my love
Sadly it doesn’t work that way”

“Then can I come with you
When it’s time to leave? 
I will not be a nuisance
I promise Dad...please”

“Best not love 
That place is not for you”

“What place is that?”

“I cannot say
I just know that it’s true”

“Might I ask you why then? 
Why you felt you had to die?”

“I fear the truth will cause more pain
And I cannot tell a lie
But I swear my love
You were not to blame
There there now 
Please don’t cry”

“Then what do we talk about
If an answer you can’t provide?”

“Believe me love I swear to you
I feel such pain inside”

 
“Then tell me please I need to know 
I want to understand” 

“Let’s sit her for a moment love 
Come here and take my hand”

So we sit in silence 
And as it nears the end 
I realise despite my efforts
I will NEVER comprehend 

Then as he fades back out to leave 
I cry out one last request
 
“Do you miss me? 
Do you love me?
Or do you prefer being dead?”

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Comments

author
Marion

Just broke my bloody heart Gwen. 
so much angst confusion and hurt. Keep writing...one day you will know the answers ...the day you are reunited with all your loved ones Gwen. Oh, if only we could have those conversations now...maybe we could find peace in our lives. To talk to them one last time...so much love to you...and healing thoughts 💖💖

Reply
author
Gwendoline

Hugs lovely ❤️I wish I could find peace and clarity for both of us. Thank you for your love and empathy xoxoxo 

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author
Jill Tait

Awwwww such a solaced but beautiful write my lovely poetic pen friend ❤️💙❤️

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author
Pratibha Savani

Omg Gwen....I was just filling up inside reading this as emotions were coming out. I really felt it. I dont know what else to say. You really got me on this one for my own personal reasons...a beautiful write...I love the conversation. So deep. Its perfect. Pinned. Px 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

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author
Gwendoline

❤️ p sending you love as I know how hard those feelings are to carry. Thank you for sharing your empathy with this poem. For taking time to look at my work. I am forever grateful of your presence here on Cosmo 🌷💝

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author
Syd

Hello again Gwendoline,

This is a very powerful clever write. It sounds to me as if it's about losing a loved one to suicide. I hope my interpretation is incorrect because I can't imagine how painful that would be. I lost my mother to an alcohol related disease in 2015 and that was painful enough.

Stay strong  - Syd 

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author
Gwendoline

Hello Syd so lovely of you to read some of my poems. I am so grateful. Yes I have lost three to suicide now. This particular one is about my Dad. I have anniversaries this month and I have been spending far too much time in my head due to covid restrictions. I would love to have answers but I know that can’t ever happen. So I tend to write it out at times. Which am sure you can relate to. Poetry is a good outlet. I am sorry about your loss. It is never easy is it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this piece. Means a lot 
Gwen x

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author
Syd

Three to suicide? I truly feel for you. I would definitely struggle to cope myself.

-Stay strong - Syd

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author
Gwendoline

It’s been hard. Emotionally and mentally drained. I lost my husband a year before one of my friends did it. My husband died in his sleep not suicide. I feel like the reaper everyone I love dies. I tend to keep to myself now. Thanks for your supportive words Syd x 

Reply
author
Neville

One can try as hard as they might but they aint gonna even get close .. are they .. I must confess this hard man did in fact shed a tear part way through this poem of yours .. 

The questions you ask throughout & your overall plea are wholly understandable & are exactly those one would expect .. In fact, strange as it may well seem .. I met a young woman in her early twenties at the weekend who was nearing the end of the 630 mile coastal she started nine weeks previously in memory of her Dad who tragically took his own life whilst experiencing mental health problems .. and although we only met by chance, within maybe half an hour or so, she asked me a complete stranger most of those self same questions .. which I know just need to be asked .............................................. An incredibly powerful & otherwise emotionally charged poem my friend .. Peace, Love and much Respect

N xxx
 

Reply
author
Gwendoline

Hello Neville, I am so very sorry to hear of the young girls loss. What an achievement she has done in honour of his memory. I often like to support SOBS (survivors of bereavement by suicide) They offer counselling support and do a lot to help make people more aware of mental health and suicide. I was 25 when my dad chose to die. I don’t think the pain ever fully settles. It’s like a thorn in your side that you can’t pull out. It just keeps twinging from time to time. Reminding you of the sting. When you try and find the cause you can’t see the thorn for looking. Probably not making much sense here now. But I guess what I am saying is, suicide brings with its own special baggage. Thank you for reading this one my friend. You honour me with your words and time given on this piece. I am so grateful for poetry, it is a fabulous outlet for such grief

All the best my friend, I hope you are keeping well 
Gwen xx

Reply
author
Neville

No problem Gwen .. the whole issue & associated aspects of it are very close to my own heart and I consider it important to talk openly about them in order to emphasise both local & global significance as well as gain a greater understanding of possible causes, effects,  the availability of appropriate supports & help generate a greater awareness in general etc etc ..
I appreciate that there may always be more questions than answers but we have to start somewhere and a shift in mindset is long overdue .. 

P.S .. I am fine thankyou ..................... x

Reply
author
Gwendoline

Could not agree more. It is still a taboo subject, and many still today have an archaic opinion towards this kind of death. It all needs to change which means bringing it to the forefront as often as possible. 

Good to hear you are well my friend x

Reply
author
Neville

I am not ashamed to admit that I stand firmly in your corner & have got your back well n truly covered .. N :) x

Reply
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