I Guess I'll Just Wait Over Here
The feelings of someone who keeps on coming back.
I'll always come running back
Maybe that's why you keep hurting me
Because I'll never stay away
Just write angry soliloquies
You know I can't let go
You know I can't just leave
You know that you suffocate
But I'll pretend I don't need to breath
You know how this story goes
I can't stick to hating you
We both know that you're lying
But we'll pretend that it's all true
I can't help but forgive and forget
Because this time, this time, this time
It'll all be better now
I swear, it'll all be fine
And a part of me is scared
Part of me thinks I'm cruel
For not understanding
For not being your tool
For, I guess, not being there for you
But maybe you're just gaslighting
And now I'm all confused
I forgot which of us was lying
And maybe I should shut up
Not ruin something good
I think it's a good thing
I guess I think I should
But you don't care if it's a good thing
Because you know that I'll come back
Because I feel like I'm losing
Because you might attack
Because I feel so bad
Or can't seem to follow through
Because I lack commitment
Or because it's best for you
So I guess you can keep hurting me
Keep scorning and stay mean
Because I'll keep running back
I'll never do something for me
So until I just wake up
Until I swallow my fear
Until I face the music
I'll still be waiting here
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Comments
Wow! What a heartfelt write! All I can say is, is that gaslighting really does your head in. I had never heard of it before I was shown that I had suffered the effects of this. Unrequited love puts you in exactly the position you speak of. I truly hope that you realise soon that the object of your desires is not the only person for you to love. Their will be others. I have given this 5 stars because I just know that there will be many who can relate to this stunningly painful write of yours x
Thank you so much! I thought a lot of people may be able to relate to this in a lot of different ways, whether it be a toxic friendship, romantic relationship or something else entirely.
Stay amazing!
-Snapdragon