my Overthinking Complicated Discorded mind

Overthinking?
Is that what the 'O' stands for?
Always repeating, repeating, repeating
Like a train with faulty brakes
Around and around and oh look it's been three weeks
With the same thought
A vague idea of 'unworthy'
It's always the bad thoughts
On the faulty-brake train carriages 
It's Complicated
So that's what the 'C' stands for
Complicated
Enunciated syllables draw out  s l o w l y
Com-pli-ca-ted
In the same way that co-workers mumble the word in hallways
As the coffee and gossip brews
Draw out like taffy 
Like a slow-as-molasses summer no-air-conditioning day 
Because this spinning world is always so complicated
So many things to define
And no-one can agree on a definition
Even I can't agree on a definition
In a very was-the-dress-white-and-gold-or-blue-and-black way
A very pineapple-on-pizza-horrible-or-not way
My brain split in a flurry of optimistic-pessimism
Angry because of was-that-one-line-in-that-one-book-literal-or-not?
Complicated in a coin-flip see-saw way
Like Nick Carraway describing why Gatsby believed in the green light in The Great Gatsby 
Looking back at everyone but Gatsby with such hatred which is a stained-glass-window-beautiful contrast to the hope that Gatsby had, hope that was like a little kid believing in Santa Claus 
That's sort of like my opinions 
Oh and now this is a brilliant segue into
Discord/ed
Don't you love that word, segue, it's so fun, isn't it?
Anyway
Discord/ed
That's what 'D' stands for
Discord/ed
My mind is in state of perpetual discord
I feel like I'm going bright-white walls insane
In a perfectly organised colour-coded way
I want to ruin every perfect row of nice and neat paperclips or pencils or whatever they are but I'm restrained by whatever state of permanent, oh so permanent stability this is, it's all so fresh-makeup-pallet clean
And then I do that tangent thing 
It comes quickly, and loudly, like the nagging feeling of pure want that comes with the do-I-don't-I of peeling a new sticker 
But the 'save-it-until-later' adult part comes in and you stick with the 'don't-I' part of do-I-don't-I like how daisies always seem to say 'they love you not' which is super unfair even though we all cheated as kids so that we could pretend this was a magical sign from the universe that our playground-crush liked us
And you become frustrated over a sticker or a daisy or something itsy-bitsy even itsy-bitsier than you in the grand scheme of things but still, your brain just keeps running
Like now
And after a while, there is no punctuation just the thoughts pouring out like bubbling fizzing shaken soda pours out after being tumbled around washing-machine style in a bag and then when you open it because you forgot about the tumbling it makes a mess and then you ruin your white shirt and why'd you go and do that you need that shirt tomorrow you should be more careful 
My words do that
My words soda-fizz
And then when a really-super big, capital 'I' Idea comes along it's like adding Mentos to soda
And the words don't stop because I go all passionate as in passionfruit-sorbet-on-a-sunny-afternoon passionate
Like is-Pluto-a-planet-or-not passionate 
Like cream-or-cookie-which-is-better-in-an-Oreo passionate
Almost like when you have a song stuck in your head and you play it over and over until like a said-too-much word it loses all meaning or love or both
And now you know, don't you?
You've seen straight into my Overthinking-Complicated-Discorded mind
My soda-fizz-broken-train-co-workers-in-halls mind
And this poem
It's a tangent
A messy 
Bad punctuation
Tangent
But don't blame me
You don't need to anymore!
You know the not-quite-methods to my white-wall-madness
You can blame
my
Overthinking
Complicated
Discorded
mind