Im in hell

Maman j’ai mal I’m living in hell where people lie and feed me contradictions, I’m failing to live a life with satisfaction 
I live in a world where everyone will let you believe that being “YOU” is enough but in the same breath let “YOU” know that “YOU” are not good enough to exist in there world.

I grew up knowing only rejection by father and further continued into my childhood straight into adulthood nobody has ever loved me and The only time anyone will admit they did is when I’m laying in a shallow fresh grave and lie on my name for clout, sympathy and affection from those they desire it from. 

You never loved me you never even texted me you never kept me in your thoughts though you knew I battled mental and physical demons but left me to rot. Yet when I go savage I’m the one who’s “Lost the plot” 

I’m sick to death but even her sweet embrace rejects me all the friends I’ve lost who where more deserving of this life 
7 friends died murked in endz some with shanks some with skengz 
16-21  but I’m 22 now I out lived my expectations the young yute that thought 18 was middle age.
How many times has the venom in me told me to ride but the Jinn in me makes me hide I AM VENOM and I’m done living to work 7am-5pm for minimum wage just to come home and have fuck all to show for it if I’m 23 and living this same live venom will take my headphone cables and strangle me to death with it